About Me
I’ve grown to realize when God closes a door he is doing so for the right reasons. That is where faith and trust come in and letting go of the control we all love loses its power, (control is a made up word anyway.) It's often in hindsight, when we look back to where we have come, we get it. "Oh, gosh, that was so terrible but now look where I am" or "I wouldn't be here without having gone through that".
This is exactly what happened when I started my 1st business. I had to say goodbye to my beloved dressage partner, "Z", who died after a long battle with cancer in 2014. I didn't want my friend to go, I loved him so much. He and I conquered everything people told us we would never do, he was my hero.
As I sat on the ground and held his head in my lap, he passed away and I promised him his legacy would live on in what I did next. When that door closed, God opened a new one, and I launched PonyTail Bows the next month. It was through that company I connected with the power of giving back and how making a difference to others can powerfully impact lives. I had found my purpose.
my family
What if we could take this hindsight power and instead of learning the lesson later, empower ourselves with gratitude every day. What if we knew during the difficult moments, we were not alone and suffering but surrounded by grace and being prepared for something great? Some days do totally suck, we all need to have days where it is ok to not be ok. I have learned that too. There are things you can't fix or even understand, like when it comes to your children hurting, or a loved one dying. But there is hope. There is healing and restoration.
God has transformed my life over these last 5 years, saving it, really. First, I had to fix myself and settle for once my insecurities and lack of belief in who I was. I had spent 44 years trying to be whatever I thought people wanted me to be. Me, just as who I am, could not be enough. I wasn't smart enough, pretty enough, successful enough. I have always hated my crooked, broken nose. I could have never reached who I thought I had to become, I almost died trying.
me with my horse, Z
It was one day in May 2015 when it all changed. I remembered who I was. I found my worth in accepting myself in that moment, made in the image of God. Not trying to achieve or be anything else. Loved unconditionally. I had never considered this! It was that simple? I am ok, just as I am? Not the me in 5 min or the me next week?
I don’t have to DO anything? The me right now was good enough? Yes, yes, it was. Just like that, my battle within myself was over and I stepped into my power. Talk about God closing a door and opening a new one, I celebrate that still to this day!
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I think life develops in stages, kind of like rebirths. We are constantly growing in one direction or the other, all determined by the decisions and choices we make. What we do everyday matters!
I have stopped expecting the instant results this world says we can have and instead celebrate the simple things that happen.
PonyTail Bows, my former company
Why? because it is within this that genuine change occurs. We make smarter decisions and transform our lives. I have seen this work in every aspect of my life and my family. I am here writing this today because in Sept 2019 I realized I was ready for more. I prayed for what this meant, a change in the company I owned and the people I was spending my time around. I just felt out of alignment.
Those prayers over time resulted in selling PonyTail Bows in May 2020, new incredible women coming into my life (I joke all the time that I prayed them onto my path!) and pretty much everything about my girls and my family changed. Life came and tried to beat the hell out of us and we answered with the power of God changing, strengthening and growing us. Most importantly, my relationship with God elevated on a whole new level. I have found a love, trust and peace I never knew was possible.
Now, I want to share it all and help others with what I have learned.
